I began writing responses on the back of my doodles last year. What I wrote a year ago still stands true so I’m going to copy it. Having worked for a church institution for years, I have definitely witnessed and experienced this.
I want desperately to be in control of my life and even to live it for God the way I want to. Sometimes it looks good, sometimes not so good. The idea that God chooses our work for us goes against my “sacrificial” self who wants to make an impact for Him–but God doesn’t need me to do something big or significant–He just wants me to abide in Him. Then if He places a calling on me He’ll also provide the way. “We are not to be workers for God by choice. Many people deliberately choose to be workers, but they have no purpose of God’s almighty grace or His mighty Word in them.”–Oswald Chambers