I have been guilty of complaining, thinking that because I have committed myself to God, somehow, now my life should be more obviously directed by God–and smoother. But in my experience my faith walk has gone from one sense of nearness and affirmation from God to long, seemingly senseless, convoluted experiences where at times I’ve felt like I’d lost my way, to yet another experience with God. In the midst of my faith experience I’ve interpreted the most difficult, darkest times of my life as the times when I must have strayed because I couldn’t see how God could have a desire for me to experience such pain and confusion. Looking back I see that it was those dark times that he was closest and leading me to the pure light and understanding of God. They were the times that severed my trust in my family and fellow man and caused me to look to the One who knew the end from the beginning and the One who had designed my path of faith. Those dark times were my “leaving Egypt” experiences–a “death” of sorts (crisis of faith) had to come to me so God could bring me to a better place with Him.
But like the Isrealites I made it to the wilderness and have done my share of complaining there, even after experiencing great things from God. This is where our human nature gets us into trouble. We want ease and comfort and “exceptional moments” with God all the time. The interesting thing is, we forget that every moment IS execptional, even when we don’t feel it, because God is in every moment and every experience and He is working out His design for our lives–that’s what he meant when he said he would work all things together for good and for His glory. As Oswald Chambers put it today,
Never live for those exceptional moments–they are surprises. God will give us his touches of inspiration only when he sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them.